“You look tired. Are you feeling alright?”
I’m fine actually. I just don’t have any makeup on today.
“Is that what you’re wearing? We can go once you change your clothes.”
Oh. Well, this is what I was going to wear.
I just love unsolicited criticism, don’t you? It never ceases to amaze me how quickly people will comment on how you look, what you have on, and what they think of it – without a thought to how their words might make you feel. Isn’t it awesome to arrive somewhere feeling good and be told your dress makes you look heavier or that your hair looked better before you cut it?
I wish I could say that my inner confidence is not at all tied to my appearance, but that would be a lie. Truthfully, when I feel pretty, I feel more confident. As I’ve gotten older, however, what makes me feel pretty has changed quite a bit. My confidence is driven by my opinion of myself more than by the opinions of others. I’ve learned that if I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, it’s going to show. If I want to look my best, I have to start with how I feel on the inside. But I’m a woman and I have my vulnerable moments. Sometimes thoughtless comments put a damper on my whole day.
I wish I could tell you some magical solution to make you immune to the opinions of others. The truth is that even these yucky days, wrought with insecurity, can be turned into steppingstones if we use them to change how we think about self-confidence.
We can challenge ourselves to feel beautiful no matter what anyone says. Many of us only think we look good when other people tell us that we do, but feeling beautiful and confident starts in our minds. Your ability to love yourself will radiate no matter what is going on externally – bad hair and skin days, wardrobe malfunctions, you name it. Develop your inner beauty and you will always feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, you will look good.
I'm sure you've seen women who are so confident and comfortable in their skin that they can pull off any outfit, any hairdo and look like perfection. All of us can have that kind of confidence by owning our individuality.
Celebrate your body, your skin, and your hair and love them when they cooperate and when they don't. Don't let negative comments change how you feel about yourself. Make a conscious effort to look in the mirror and think of compliments instead of criticism. Celebrate how blessed you are and feel the gratitude coming out of your pores, illuminating you from the inside out. As you become more and more in touch with your inner beauty, this positive attitude will become just as much a part of your appearance as your hairstyle and the clothes you wear.
Wanting to look beautiful is about more than appearances, it is about affecting people in a positive way, speaking to them without words, and inspiring them with your presence. Keep that in mind the next time someone has something to say about how you look. Instead of hanging your head in shame or snapping a nasty comment, beam your light at them. Stay unbothered and rooted in self-love.
GG Renee is an independent author, a creativity coach, a feeler and an overthinker. She writes for the crazy beautiful complex free creative inspired love drunk woman who relishes her quiet time and believes in miracles. Blog // Twitter // Instagram